Encouraging Open Conversations with Our ADHD Children
It wasn’t until I was parenting teenagers with ADHD that I saw the power of asking open questions rather than closed ones. Closed questions, like “Did you have a good day?” often lead to short, one-word answers, especially with kids who may already find it challenging to stay engaged in conversation. On the other hand, open questions invite children to share more, show respect, convey genuine interest, and often lead to rich discussions filled with curiosity and insight.
I remember picking my kids up from school and routinely asking, “How was your day?” only to receive the usual brief response. Then, I switched it up and asked, “Tell me the best part of your day.” Suddenly, the words started spilling out! This approach became especially helpful in supporting my children with ADHD, as it made connecting easier and conversations more meaningful.
Still, asking open-ended questions wasn’t always enough; I also needed to be fully present. In today’s multitasking world, undivided attention is rare but essential, particularly for children with ADHD. They need us to listen with our eyes and ears, free from distractions like phones or screens that dilute our connection.
Conversation Starters
Children, especially those with ADHD, often benefit from a gentle prompt to get them talking. Conversation starters can be just the spark needed to open up dialogue.
Here are some examples for parents to ask their children:
What are you most curious about?
How do you learn best? By reading, seeing, touching, or moving?
What do you wish I knew about you?
If you could change something about your learning experience, what would it be?
And questions children can ask parents:
Who was a teacher or mentor that made a difference in your life?
When you were in school, what did you wish your teachers understood about you?
What’s a favorite activity you enjoy doing with me?
What do you love most about me?
Children often don’t initiate these conversations independently, so we must create and model open, respectful dialogue where both parent and child feel heard.
Conversation Starters are an excellent way to connect with kids beyond topics like school, screen time, and chores. For more ideas, please email us at info@headtoheartadhd.com.
For parents who want to improve communication with their children, especially those with ADHD, we offer Parent Coaching Toolkits designed to provide tailored support and strategies for lasting change. The toolkits cover communication skills, ADHD, executive function, connection, compassion, and creating a calm environment. Contact us to learn more!